What do I mean . . .

. . . when I write that I am recovering?

After over ten years working primarily for security instead of creativity, I'm feeling like a convalescent. It as if I have just gotten over a long, dehabilitating illness. I miss making. I seem to have lost my path - an artistic version of a midlife crisis. Since I am a thirtysomething female, I don't feel the need (or have the money) to go out and buy a red sports car in order to recover my lost youth. What I need to do is akin to spoonfeeding myself nourishing vegetable soup in order to get over the flu. I need to dose myself on being creative.

I can't tell you how many times in the past few years that I have felt like this. Usually, it results in me reading Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way halfway through. Then, I get caught up in business trips, meetings, keeping the damn house clean and my husband and son sane.

Google tells me that I am not alone in this feeling. The term "recovering creative" brings over 2 million hits and lots of solidarity. While the majority deal with other kinds of recovery, mostly from addiction, there are a number of artistic and spiritual references. Somewhere along the line, so many people stray from their passions in search of security. Pablo Picasso said, "every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." Growing up - paying the mortgage, emptying the dishwasher, shoveling the sidewalk, playing the game at work, taking care of loved ones - distracts from the process of making.